Despair

Putting words on paper is a form of solace.

Words

Unheeded

Life

Unneeded

Seeds

Unseeded

Sentence

Unpleaded

To wake

Unwakened

To end

Unshaken

To pass

Unladen

To oblivion

Unfading

Chances

Untaken

This life

Unmaking

Another life slips away unnoticed.

Vessel

My borrowed hands

Fumble to contain

this convulsing flesh

Even as they, too,

inexorably

fall

to

dust

I Hear This Every Day

I am broken.

Please, fix me.
Fix me.

Why Does It Always Have To End This Way?

When was the last time I held somebody

Felt safe in another’s arms

Or had another feel safe in mine?

When was the last time I felt love?

Or was there a last time?

Lust comes and goes as dust in the wind

Dust without destination

Dust without purpose

Love is rooted in depths within

Love is precious

Love is all.

I fear it

I need it

I am empty without it

Yet I cannot attain it.

I hate love.

Were there no love

I would not feel hollow without it

I would not feel the cold in its absence

As I pray to be forgiven for wasted life

I would not know what it is that I lack

As I tear away at my screaming mind

I would not know what I shall forever be denied

As the blood spills like tears from my grieving hands

I would not know what it is I have missed.

The Day After

I have lost my will to live

I have lost my will to die

There is nothing left

The Usual Suspects

Despair

Eternity

Discord

Deception

Betrayal

Dane

What is this quintessence of dust?

It is less than dust

Yet so much more.

Dust but lies;

It merely exists.

It does not yearn,

Hope or dream

Nor does it see those

Hopes, dreams and yearnings

Go unfulfilled,

Falling dead into the

earth, with not so

much as a mote of dust

to mark its passing.

So fall the dreams of men.

So fall men themselves.

For they are but dust

Breathed a hollow life.

A torment of broken dreams

That fills the shores

With jagged sand

Upon which men must tread.

Dust has peace.

Man has anguish, pain and fear.

We are preyed upon until

We ourselves must make

Prey of our predators.

But we are not ourselves

predators, but parasites

That suck upon the teat

of all that is holy and

call ourselves righteous in

the dream of what we may

never become. I am a

man. I am but tortured

DUST.

Ragh! Ragh! F’tang!

A

LIFE

Composed of

DISTRACTIONS

Used in attempts to

FORGET

The total

EMPTINESS.

The life is

HOLLOW,

There is nothing

WITHIN

No

JOY

Nothing that makes it worth

LIVING.

Let the life be

DESTROYED.

Let there be a stop to the torment of

LIVING.

Let the pain

END

How great the stumble?

How far the fall?

Questions to Answers unknown.

The wings on my back

Have long since burned off

Damn these sticks:

Though they never bore me

To any height

I longed to feel their lift.

Death’s wings are swift:

Perhaps I’ll use them instead.

Life Throes

Cannot live

Cannot die

There is nothing

This is my hell

This is my punishment

What have i done i ask

To deserve this

But i know

i know

And i know i deserve it

That is my punishment

That is my hell

That is why i exist

That is why it will never end

Hell is eternal.